Out of context

Are you making up this whole wedding?

Now what would make you think that??

Seriously?

Well, ok, maybe I was playing a prank on a few people. I had 5 friends in on it and a few staged Facebook check-ins.

The post about the wedding dress being amazing was the give away.  Guys don't talk about that crap.

Some photo shopping courtesy of a friend. Mom called me and asked about it! The news traveled home!

I'm not surprised. You are such a shit. I hope your mom bitched you out.

But you have to admit, it was well-played. Mom thought it was funny, she has mellowed out quite a bit.

When you tagged me in the thank you, I thought, he would probably send a note, like, hey, wish you the best or some shit.

I knew you would figure it out.

I dunno. You are a little unpredictable. Not impossible you would just say, to hell with it, I'm marrying someone today.

You can even come to the bachelor party.

I'm a little late though, since you are already married.

She's very open-minded.

Good. Go out with a bang. Shit, I just read that out loud. lol

The Hangover will look like a Boy Scout trip. We may need your legal services after.

Just be sure not to make me a witness.

I think I will make up a story that she left a note on the bedside table that she is leaving me. I need to post a few pics from around Italy first, so people follow my honeymoon. And here is Trevi fountain...

No, she left you for the tour guide! Fabio is male, despite his haircut.

He is Michael Bolton's brother, cousin to Kenny G. I'm going to end up on the show "Snapped" even though she is completely fictitious.

Or the local news wearing a wedding dress like Dennis Rodman. I'll do your hair first.

Can you also wax my back?

I'm going to be slow and deliberate with the waxing.

Wanna have an affair? It'll be fun! We can make naughty affair videos!

Is there any other kind?

I can't imagine any decent affair video would be two people playing checkers. We need a weak plot and cheesy dialogue, with some shaky camera footage. Maybe we can both wear GoPro helmets? They even shoot in 3d...

WAIT, was ALL this really an attempt to get me in the sack?

Let's post that I got you pregnant!

What could possibly go wrong. That's going to have to be your issue with your new wife. Haha. Issue...

HA! More issues than Time Magazine...

Too easy. Try again.

National Geographic

Again.

Sports Illustrated